The Mirror of Erised
by Serafina Jayne
Summary: An accidental look in the Mirror of Erised would change Severus Snape's life forever...
1. Prologue

Prologue

"Wingardium Leviosa" he murmured, accompanying this with the necessary swish and flick action from his wand. The mirror hovered slightly above the ground; it took nearly all of his concentration to keep the mirror steady, making sure the face was completely covered by its silk cloth. Whatever happened, he couldn't let the cloth fall.

Why Dumbledore couldn't have moved the mirror himself he didn't know, as if he didn't have anything better to do with his time. And a mirror of all things, he'd spent ages working out that damn potions puzzle, even if he was quite proud of the outcome. And all Dumbledore had put forward to protect the Philosophers Stone was a mirror. The old wizard had explained how the Mirror of Erised worked of course, but it didn't involve any skill or thought to get passed it, unlike his puzzle. He smirked to himself as he remembered his favourite lines.

'_Danger lies before you, while safety lies behind,_

_ Two of us will help you, whichever you would find,_

_One among us seven will let you move ahead,_

_ Another will transport the drinker back instead,_

_ Two among our number hold only nettle wine,_

_ Three of us are killers, waiting hidden in line.'_

No wizard or witch he knew would stand a Merlin's chance in getting passed that puzzle!

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Filches desperate shouts "Professor Snape! Professor Snape! Student out of bed! Student out of bed!" He quickly lowered the mirror, trying to be as careful as possible, but still, the mirror tilted slightly. Before he could react, the cloth silently slipped from the mirror, he turned to look at it and came face to face with… His stomach churned uneasily…What? Who?

"Professor Snape, Professor Snape" he could hear hurried footsteps now as well. Panicking, he turned and ran from the room, leaving the cloth in a pile on the floor at the mirrors golden feet. He was in such a rush to leave; he even left the door slightly ajar. Turning the corner, he saw Filch running towards him.

"You asked me to come directly to you, Professor, if anyone was wandering around at night, and somebody's been in the library – Restricted Section" Filch managed to get out between panting for breath.

"The Restricted Section? Well, they can't be far, we'll catch them".

* * *

Once in his private chambers, he headed directly for the drinks cabinet. He rarely drank, it was of the utmost importance that he kept a clear head at all times; but tonight…well tonight was different. With a large glass of firewhiskey in his hand, he sank into his favourite armchair. The last thing he wanted to do was to see the image from the mirror, but it was as though it had been burned into the forefront of his mind. That face…but how? And the…? He sighed deeply, why did he have to see that? It was very possibly worse than what he had worried about seeing in the first place.

With one last mouthful, he finished the firewhiskey and he could feel it starting to take effect. But as he slowly drifted into sleep, he knew his dreams would be haunted…and he hadn't even managed to catch that dunderhead student.

* * *

_**Authors Note: This is my first ever Fan Fiction that I have posted online, so I would appreciate any reviews / feedback to see what you think of the story and my writing so far.**_

_**Hope you enjoy!**_


	2. Part 1 Chapter 1

PART 1

Chapter 1

"Now Penny dear, do you remember how to get onto the platform?"

"Yes mum, you've told me Aunty Sybil's story a thousand times. I have to walk directly towards the barrier between platforms nine and ten, and I can't stop. And mum, please, I'm old enough now to be called Penelope. I'm going to secondary school after all."

"Well, I don't know if wizards call it 'secondary school' per say, but no matter what, you'll always be my little Penny."

"Selena, stop smothering her" Penelope's father said as he walked over "this is a big day for her; she knows what she's doing."

Ivor Jones had stopped next to them and had put his hand on Penelope's shoulder. To people who didn't know him, he would appear quite imposing. He was well over 6ft and was quite heavy set with muscle – not the type of muscle you get from working out in a gym, but from working hard every day. The Jones' did live on a farm after all. He had dark hair and olive skin, and his eyes were almost black, though they were friendly and lit up every time he laughed. And because of Penelope's mother Selena, he laughed at least a hundred times every day. Selena Jones was, well, a little bit odd to say the least. As the saying goes, she'd forget her head if it wasn't screwed on! And she was incredibly beautiful, with wildly curly red hair, pale creamy skin and big green eyes. When standing next to Ivor she appeared to be slight in figure, but she was actually very curvaceous. Penelope was a blend of both parents. She had dark chocolate brown hair, which looked black because her skin was so pale, even though she spent most of her time outside. And she also had her mothers' eyes, emerald green.

"I'm not smothering her, I'm just excited…it's Hogwarts!" She gently slapped Ivor on the arm. He laughed and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"I know love; we've been waiting for this day a long time"

Seeing her parents exchange, Penelope remembered the day she got her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She was so excited, she'd never believed her parents when they'd told her all the strange things that happened to her sometimes were because of magic, and that she was a witch. Her mum had first recognised it when she was just 5 years old and they were all playing 'hide and seek'. Penelope had panicked when she couldn't find a good enough hiding place and suddenly, there she was on top of the roof of her fathers barn! Her mum's sister, Sybil, was a witch and apparently the same sort of thing had happened to her when she was younger. Her mum was a squib though, she had a witch and a wizard for parents, and a sister who was a witch, but she was born with no magical ability. But that had never been a problem with her family; her mum had been accepted as one of them and enjoyed her life in the muggle world, especially after falling in love with Ivor.

"Go on then Penelope, if you don't go now, you might miss the train" Ivor said, as he pulled her into one of his 'big bear' hugs.

"Oh Penny" Selena said, tears starting to form in her eyes "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I know mum, I'll miss you to. But I'll write as often as I can." Penelope said, hugging her mum and kissing her on the cheek.

Not wanting to upset her mother anymore, Penelope turned and walked as quickly as possible towards the barrier between the two platforms. She put her head down, and closed her eyes. The noises had changed – whistles blew, people were shouting and children were laughing. Looking up, she realised she was right in the middle of all the hustle and bustle of Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. It had worked! Weaving in and out of the crowd, she made her way towards the end of the train. A kindly porter helped her lift her trunk into an empty carriage and then, sitting next to the window, she watched the last few families say goodbye. She hoped there were enough carriages on the train so that no-one would join this one; she really needed some time alone.

This was a completely new experience for her and she was worried about how she'd cope. She wasn't nervous about the classes; she was incredibly excited at the thought of those. It was spending time with so many people of her own age she was scared of. After her parents realised she was a witch at quite a young age, they knew she'd be going to Hogwarts, so they didn't enrol her in a muggle primary school. This meant she was home schooled and had spent most of her childhood with just her parents. They had lived on the farm in the middle of nowhere all her life, so there had never been any neighbours with children that she could play with either. She wasn't complaining at all, to be honest, she really preferred the company of adults anyway. On the rare occasions that there had been family gatherings, she'd spent time with her young cousins, and they never had anything in common. Most children of her age just didn't enjoy getting lost in books or learning about new things. Well, on the bright side, maybe she would find other students like that at Hogwarts.

The train had left the station by now and was travelling through countryside – beautiful rolling hills and blue skies. This would be the perfect opportunity to catch up on a bit of reading. Opening her trunk, she rummaged around for the book she wanted…aah…there it was! "Magical Drafts and Potions" _by Arsenius Jigger_. She'd had a brief look through some of her other school books but this was by far the subject she was looking forward to the most – potions. Living on a farm, her mum had always taught her about natural remedies for illnesses, rather than using modern muggle medicines. The thought of mixing this hobby with magic sounded perfect. So the rest of her train journey was spent happily browsing through each chapter, she didn't even look up when the lunch trolley came round.

* * *

Her day had passed in such a blur, so much had happened and she was absolutely exhausted. The train had arrived late in the evening and from the platform, she and the other first years followed a huge, giant of a man with wild shaggy hair. They had all shared small boats to cross a huge lake.

The first view of Hogwarts took her breath away – no amount of storytelling from her Aunty Sybil had prepared her for this. The castle was perched on top of a huge rocky cliff, with its turrets and towers all lit up and the surrounding starry sky – it was magical.

They had entered the castle and been met by the Assistant Headmaster, Professor Flitwick, who was a tiny man with a squeaky voice. He had welcomed them and introduced the four houses: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Penelope had been thrilled when the Sorting Hat had placed her in Ravenclaw; she was bound to find some like-minded souls in that house.

Strangely though, there was one thing that had made quite an impression on her, and it was weird because it wasn't one of the incredible new things that had happened that day – the train journey, the arrival at Hogwarts, the sorting ceremony, or the amazing feast in the Great Hall. There had been a man, a Professor she presumed, at the High Table, who had spent most of the evening just staring at her. From a distance, she couldn't really tell what he looked like, but she could see that he had shoulder-length black hair and was wearing black robes. But she couldn't for the life of her work out the expression on his face – shock, or even horror? But why? As she lay in her bed that night, in the Ravenclaw dormitories, she couldn't get the image of this man out of her head.


	3. Part 1 Chapter 2

PART 1

Chapter 2

Penelope's first week was a whirlwind of new experiences – the busy corridors and the noisy mealtimes couldn't be further away from her previously quiet life in the country. The lessons: Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology; all new and intriguing. And there was one place she really did feel at home - Ravenclaw Tower.

The Ravenclaw prefect, Theodore Jenkins, had led all the first years there after the feast on the first night. Up and up, they had climbed a narrow spiral staircase, Penelope was sure they must be at the top of one of Hogwarts many towers. When they reached the very top, there was a door, but no handle or keyhole. The door was made of a dark aged wood and had a bronze door knocker in the shape of an eagles head. Theodore knocked once and the eagle's beak opened. In a deep, clear voice, the eagle said:

"_Welcome young first years,_

_ To Ravenclaw Tower,_

_ You'll need wit and a bright mind inside._

_ But in order to enter_

_ You must prove you belong,_

_ In this place where all knowledge resides."_

The old door slowly swung open and Theodore turned to face them "As this is your first night, you are allowed to enter. But remember the eagle's words – as from now on, whenever you want to enter the tower, you will be asked a question, and only the correct answer, will open the door."

Walking quietly through the doorway, the first years looked around. They were in a huge circular room, the walls were mainly made up of large windows, through which they could see the vast starry sky. This worked beautifully with the ceiling which was domed and painted in midnight blue; it was also covered in painted stars. The rest of the room was also entirely furnished in midnight blue, with hints of bronze – the colours of Ravenclaw house. There were a few comfy chairs dotted around, perfect for curling up in and getting lost in a book, and large mahogany desks that would be ideal for studying on. In niches between the windows, the walls were full of books; they stretched all the way from the floor up to the ceiling. As far as Penelope was concerned, the room could not have been more perfect.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

It was Friday morning, the last day of her first week, and Penelope was heading to the dungeons. She was the only student with a smile on her face, it was her first ever Potions lesson. The temperature changed halfway down the main staircase; the dungeons were frightfully cold, but Penelope was prepared, making sure she'd put on a vest under her school shirt that morning. The students all filed into the classroom and found an empty seat, most students had headed straight to the back of the class, but Penelope sat in the very front row. Looking around, she could see lots of glass jars with strange ingredients; some even looked like they were filled with pickled animals. There were also dried plants hanging from a rack on the ceiling, and shelves filled with books, instruments and cauldrons of all shapes and sizes.

Suddenly, the door at the front of the classroom opened, and in stormed a dark figure, black robes billowing behind him. Penelope froze; it was the man she had noticed at the feast on her first night. Every night that week, his face had haunted her dreams, and there were so many questions she wanted answers to. Why had be been staring at her? The look on his face…what had he been feeling? Why couldn't she stop thinking about him? She had overheard other people's conversations that week and had found out that his name was Professor Severus Snape; and he was by far the most hated Professor in Hogwarts. But she was now able to see him close up and see what he was really like; she wondered whether he would be as bad as his reputation?

He was certainly tall, but she couldn't make out his build as his robes were so large, maybe he did this on purpose so that they would billow out behind him when he walked? She'd heard other students say that it made him look like a bat, and therefore scary - as most people are scared of bats; she almost laughed at the thought of this. No he didn't look scary to her, his black hair and dark eyes didn't scare her, she was used to that with her father. Though Professor Snape's eyes certainly didn't seem to have the warmth her fathers did; but he hadn't looked in her direction once yet so she couldn't really tell. Even when he had called her name in the register and she had answered, he hadn't looked up. Admittedly, he did have a large hooked nose, but it was sort of right for his face. And his skin was sallow, but that was nothing a bit of sunshine wouldn't solve. No, she definitely didn't see what all the students were so scared of.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making" he began.

His voice was silky and smooth, and as he spoke, a funny feeling was starting to form in her stomach, sort of like butterflies. His voice was so beautiful, how could other students find this scary?

"As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses…"

It was like she was hypnotised, his voice was just so wonderful, and his words so beautiful…she'd never heard a man talk like that before…

"I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even stopper death – if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."

How was she ever supposed to learn the art of potion-making with this voice teaching her? She could barely concentrate.

"Jones" Professor Snape said suddenly "What would you get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

How would she ever be able to remember any information he dictated to them with that feeling of butterflies in her stomach when he talked…

She could hear students starting to cough uneasily around her, and suddenly the girl sitting next to her poked her sharply in the ribs. Penelope looked up, and standing right there, looming over her desk, staring straight into her eyes was Professor Snape. For the second time that morning, she froze…

"You answered when I called your name from the register, but it would seem you are not present, or do you just feel so far advanced compared to the other students, that you don't need to pay attention when I'm talking?" He said silkily.

Her breath caught, he was standing so close, she could feel her cheeks starting to flush pink…his eyes were incredible…so deep…She had to say something…

"Uuhhh…No….Sir…" She stammered.

"No, what?" he replied.

"Umm…no…I am…present…Sir" Why wouldn't her brain work? She couldn't even formulate an easy sentence. His eyes were so piercing…

"You're present? Well, you must think you're more advanced than the rest of the class then? Let's try again. Jones, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

No! That's not what she'd meant, she knew she wasn't better, oh; this was going so wrong…a bezoar, a bezoar? She'd read the name in 'Magical Drafts and Potions' she was sure, but what was it? And where would she find it? He was just staring down at her…

"Umm…I don't know Sir" was all she could say.

"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Jones?"

No, she had read the books, but how could she remember all of 'Magical Drafts and Potions' and 'One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi'? And even if she could remember it, it was made a hundred times harder to do anything with him staring at her, and when did it get so hot in this room? Why had she worn that silly vest?

"What is the difference, Jones, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

Ok, Penelope, think, you've definitely read both those names…think, what is the difference…?

After a short time struggling to think of a suitable answer, she quietly said "I don't know Sir".

"For your information, Jones, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death. A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why aren't you all copying that down?"

Penelope's eyes started to water, she wasn't usually emotional, she took after her father in that respect, but she had never felt so awful. The one teacher she had wanted to impress, and the one lesson she was looking forward to, and she'd just made the biggest fool of herself…she slowly looked up, right into Professor Snape's eyes…he must have seen the tears and thought she was pathetic, because a look of disgust crossed his face for a second, before his usual sneer returned. He quickly turned away and addressed the rest of the class.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

_**Author's Note: You'll notice that a lot of Professor Snape's dialog in this chapter is the same as when Harry Potter has his first Potions lesson, there are two reasons for this. Firstly, why change something that's so perfect? His dialog in this chapter by JKR was what made me love Severus' character in the first place. And secondly, well…you'll find out in the next chapter!**_

_**Obviously, I did not write this dialog and I'm not taking credit for it – the dialog along with all the characters and places you recognise are JKR's wonderful creation – I am just playing with them. **_


	4. Part 1 Chapter 3

PART 1

Chapter 3

"Severus, did everything go well with your first year potions class today?"

Severus looked over the top of the paper he was reading and saw Poppy Pomfrey standing above him.

"Why would you ask such a question" he sneered, looking very uninterested.

"Well, I'm just a bit surprised that's all, I didn't have any students in the hospital wing this afternoon" There was a hint of laughter in her voice.

"Are you implying that I regularly injure my first year students in some way Poppy?" Why in Merlin's beard had he come to the staff room today, damn Minerva for making him do this, why wasn't he allowed to just spend the evening in his chambers, he actually liked being there.

"No, no, not at all Severus, I didn't mean that. It's just that I had made sure I had a full stock of Essence of Murtlap, great for relieving pain when the skin is irritated, as you well know Severus. Because I usually have at least one student coming to me after your first lesson that's completely covered in boils. But today no-one came; I have to say, this might be the first time in all your years of teaching that there's been an accident free lesson" She said, laughing now.

They both turned as Professor Flitwick and Professor Sinistra appeared beside them.

"Not losing your touch are you Severus?" Flitwick asked, in his usual high pitched voice.

"I don't know what you might be referring to Filius" Severus replied, still appearing uninterested in the conversation.

"Oh come on Severus, don't tell me you didn't even ask the 'big three questions' this year either" Filius joked.

"Well actually, I know for a fact that he did" Aurora Sinistra chipped in.

Turning to Filius and Aurora, Poppy asked "What are you both talking about?"

"Well you see Poppy, Severus has this routine he performs every year in front of the first years" Filius chimed "he starts by asking them 3 trick questions, that no first year is ever going to be able answer. Then after scaring them out of their wizards robes, he sets them to work, mixing up a potion to cure boils, knowing full well, that the students have no experience, and the slightest mistake causes the students cauldron to melt and boils erupt on anyone the potion lands on." Filius chuckled "It's all scare tactics I'm sure. Just seems to have gone wrong a bit this year doesn't it Severus"

Looking directly at Professor Flitwick, Severus responded "Firstly, Filius, I am not a court jester, I do not perform, I teach. Secondly, they are not trick questions; if the students had looked at the material they would know the answers. I just find it helpful in putting the more arrogant students in their place at the start of term. And finally, if a student cannot follow a simple set of instructions, then they deserve to be covered in boils as far as I'm concerned. This also teaches the students that potion-making is not a joke, it's a dangerous subject and they must concentrate." Severus had closed his paper by now and was looking very angry indeed.

Poppy and Filius just looked at each other sheepishly, obviously nothing had changed, he was still his usual self. It was only Aurora that spoke up.

"That's all very well Severus, if that's the way you want to teach and it works for you then fine. However, if the 'three questions' is a way to put arrogant students in their place, then why did I come across Penelope Jones in the Astronomy Tower looking completely distraught, at lunch time today? It sounded to me like she had been at the receiving end of your questioning."

At this Severus stood up and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

He didn't even need to concentrate on where he was going, walking to his chambers was second nature; they had been his home here at Hogwarts for nineteen years, since he was a young man of twenty, and that's not even counting the seven years he'd spent here as a student. Of course he'd spent a bit of time elsewhere, those few months living in Albus' old rooms; him, in the Headmasters Suite, what a joke. And the year he had had to spend in the Hospital Wing recovering from Nagini's bite. It was all thanks to that know-it-all Granger of course, if it wasn't for her remembering his body was in the Shrieking Shack, and going back for him, they'd have never realised he was still alive.

Not many people understood why he had come back to teach after the war, he had been so close to death; but teaching was all he knew and contrary to popular belief, he actually enjoyed it. A lot of people still thought it would have been better if he had died, and they made that no secret. He was still a constant reminder of the dark side of the war. He would always be known as Albus Dumbledore's murderer. Sometimes he often wondered himself if he'd have been better off dying, but then he would have never seen…No, Severus, not yet.

As he turned the corner, he saw the door to his private chambers up ahead, after muttering the password; he swiftly opened the door and entered. He made his way straight across the room and sank into his favourite chair. Her face immediately appeared in his mind, her face…but now it wasn't just a stranger's face; she had a name…Penelope.

* * *

That night, when she'd entered the Great Hall for the first time; her face had stood out from all the other students. He couldn't believe his eyes; it wasn't possible; could it really be her? She was sitting quite far away so he couldn't make out her features no matter how long he looked at her, but she looked so similar. All week, both faces haunted his dreams; he couldn't wait for Friday morning so he could see her more closely.

Friday morning came and he entered the classroom in his usual manner. He supposed Filius was correct; he did follow the same structure every year. His opening speech did usually have most students quaking in their boots, and he'd usually been able to pinpoint one student who was more arrogant than the rest while taking the register and often chose them for the questions. His most satisfying questioning of all time still had to have been when it was Potters first year; though he had actually been quite quick when he'd mentioned Granger knowing the answers.

But today, why had he chosen her? He could tell she wasn't arrogant of course, and all he'd wanted was to get a closer look at her and test her abilities. But why question her like that? And why get so close to her? He had known by that point that it was definitely her, much much younger obviously, she was only a child after all, but in ten years, they'd be identical. It had all been a terrible move on his part of course, when he was standing in front of her, and she looked up at him with tears in her eyes, he was thoroughly disgusted with himself, how could he have done that to her?

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at his door. Severus groaned; he really didn't need this tonight. After standing, he slowly made his way over to the door. His body felt stiff now he had relaxed. Once he had stopped for the day, his muscles seemed to seize up easily. Opening the door he was greeted by the Headmistress.

"Good evening Severus"

"Minerva" he said dryly "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company so late in the evening?"

"Late? Why it's only 8 o'clock Severus. I didn't see you at dinner in the Great Hall tonight, and Filius mentioned you left the staffroom quite abruptly earlier, I just thought I'd check in on you. May I come in?"

Severus pulled the door open further and stepped aside. Briskly entering the room, Minerva made her way to a chair by the fireplace and sat down. With a flick of her wand, a table appeared with tea, set for two, and a plate of biscuits.

"Minerva, I do not need checking on, am I not allowed to skip a meal once in a while? And leave the staffroom whenever I please?" Severus sighed. He closed the door and produced a quick sound-proofing charm, you could never be too careful.

"Severus, that's not what I meant. It's your first week back and I am just concerned you're taking on too much too soon. You're not fully recovered." She said, before taking a sip of her tea.

"Minerva, it is every Professors first week back, it is the first week of term for Merlin's sake. And as for me not being fully recovered, well that is absurd, I am fine. I do not need you watching over me"

"Severus, please" She then paused, as though trying to find the right words, "I cannot imagine what you have been through over the years, both physically and mentally, but denying there is anything wrong will not make your life any easier. Poppy told me you are struggling with aches and pains as a result of the snake venom, you have to talk to us, we can help you"

"I don't need your help." He snapped. "You think that spending my evenings in the staffroom with the other Professors will help me, hearing them talking as though the war never happened." He was starting to raise his voice "You think that taking time away from Hogwarts and teaching will help me, being left with only my own thoughts, all the things I have done these past years playing over and over in my mind. How can you help me Minerva? How?" Severus was close to shouting by now.

"Severus"

"Just don't." He interrupted. "I'd appreciate it if you could leave me please"

He opened the door. Minerva made her way towards it, but just before she left, she turned and said kindly "I am here Severus, if you do ever want to talk".

* * *

He hated to admit it of course but she was right, the aches and pains, if that's what you could call the sharp shooting pains that left him shaking for hours, were making life difficult for him. He couldn't sleep because of them; he couldn't even remember the last time he'd been able to get a full few hours of sleep. He was only 39, which was young in the wizarding world, but he felt old. His double life, as a spy for the Order and a Death Eater for Voldemort, had been more than enough for one lifetime, let alone a third of one*. But what good would it do talking about it; he just wanted to be left alone so that he could focus on his teaching.

But when he finally sat down, teaching was the last thing on his mind…her face again…but this time she was crying…and it was all his fault.

* * *

_**I hope you liked this chapter; I'd really like to know what you thought of Severus' point of view and whether you think I did his character justice.**_

_***I am assuming that wizards live, on average, to about 120 years old.**_


	5. Part 2 Chapter 4

PART 2

Chapter 4

"_Happy Birthday to you,_

_Happy Birthday to you,_

_Happy Birthday dear Penelope,_

_Happy Birthday to you"_

Penelope grinned and blew out the sixteen candles on her cake. "Thanks Mum, thanks Dad." She said "I've had the most fantastic day"

"Well, darling, it's not over yet" her mum said excitedly "Ivor, hurry up, go and get the present!" Ivor quickly ran into the kitchen and returned wheeling a huge box on a cart he usually used to pull heavy equipment around the farm.

"But, I don't understand, I've already had my presents, you bought me all those lovely clothes, and that jewellery." Penelope said, confused.

"Oh Penny, they're things every sixteen year old needs, you're not a little girl anymore, it's about time you started to look like the beautiful young woman you are" Her mother said, stroking her hair. Penelope blushed. "Besides" her mum continued "This isn't just a birthday present, it's also a congratulations present for your brilliant O.W.L results"

It was then Penelope noticed, that attached to the front of the huge box, on top of the simple brown wrapping paper, was a copy of the letter she had received from Hogwarts:

* * *

**ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS**

Pass Grades: 

Outstanding (O)

Exceeds Expectations (E)

Acceptable (A)

Fail Grades:

Poor (P)

Dreadful (D)

Troll (T)

**PENELOPE JONES HAS ACHIEVED:**

Astronomy: O

Care of Magical Creatures: E

Charms: O

Defence Against the Dark Arts: O

Divination: E

Herbology: O

History of Magic: O

Potions: O

Transfiguration: O

* * *

"The only student in the year to get an 'Outstanding' grade in Potions, we are so proud of you darling" Selena said giving her a big hug.

"Well go on, open it then" Ivor said.

Penelope quickly undid the string that was holding the parcel together, and removed the paper. Inside the box was a beautiful collection of potion-making equipment. There were various cauldrons of different sizes, made of all the different metals: copper, brass, pewter, silver and gold; an ornate set of brass weighing scales and a collection of different shaped crystal phials. There was also a set of silver knives for chopping ingredients, some copper measuring cups and a wooden case which contained all the basic potion-making ingredients.

Penelope couldn't believe it, it was all so amazing. Looking up at her parents, all she could say was "I love it, thank you so much; I can't even believe that you would buy me these things."

"Well, we know that you're going on to take Potions at N.E.W.T level and figured, if you're going to become a world famous Potions Mistress, you'd need a decent bit of kit to help you along the way!" Her dad said.

* * *

Later that evening, Penelope was sat alone in her room, the floor covered with all her new birthday presents, when there was a knock at the door. "Come in" she said. Her mums head peaked around the door.

"Hey honey, I was wondering if you fancied a hot chocolate night? Your dad has had to drive to the farm a few miles over to help out; he won't be back till the morning. Or are you too old for things like that now?"

Penelope jumped out of bed grinning, "That would be great" she replied. They hadn't had a hot chocolate night since before she went to Hogwarts. Farming really was a full time job, and whenever her dad had to work all night, or visit another farm in the area, Penelope and her mum would always go into the attic, where they had made a cosy hide out, with a mattress, a few blankets and lots of cushions. They would snuggle up with a full flask of hot chocolate and spend the whole night talking about anything and everything.

Once they had settled down and finished discussing the days events, Selena topped up their mugs and said "So tell me about Hogwarts, tell me everything"

Penelope laughed "Mum, I've already told you everything"

"Yes, but that was in your letters, it's not the same. I want to hear it"

"Ok" Penelope sighed, but she was smiling. "What would you like to hear about first?"

"Tell me about Hogsmeade, I just can't imagine it – an entire wizarding village!"

And so Penelope relived for her mother that day in her third year when they'd been allowed out of the castle grounds and into the village of Hogsmeade. She had gone with her one and only friend, Helena Jenkins (Theodore the prefect's younger sister). They had become friends after the first potions lesson. It had been Helena that had poked her in the ribs when she hadn't even noticed Professor Snape standing over her. As it turned out, they had quite a bit in common; they both loved to read and spent most of their time together in the library or reading in the Ravenclaw common room. They were different in that Helena came from a large wizard family and so spent a lot of time with her siblings as well, but the main thing they did differ in was looks. Helena was blonde with blue eyes, her hair fell in pretty ringlets that framed her face and because of this, she was very popular with the Ravenclaw boys!

"…so really it looks like any other village, it's just full of magic!" Penelope finished.

"It really does sound lovely" Selena said "You'll have to take me there someday."

"I will" Penelope promised "So, what do you want to hear about next?"

"Hmm…tell me about your favourite place in Hogwarts"

Penelope thought for a bit. "I suppose that would have to be the Astronomy Tower. I don't go there often, you see, it's sort of out of bounds to students except for lessons, but it's the perfect place to go and think."

"Well, how did you find it?" Selena asked

Penelope remembered back to that first ever potions lesson. After the questions Professor Snape had asked, he had set them to work in pairs mixing up a potion to cure boils. Penelope had tried to concentrate as best she could; she had already made a big enough fool of herself for one day. But once she had left the classroom, her emotions got the better of her. She had walked as quickly as possible through the castle, just trying to find somewhere quiet. In order to dodge Peeves in a corridor, she'd slipped through a doorway she hadn't seen before and climbed the steps behind it. They went up and up, even higher than the stairs to Ravenclaw Tower, and at the top, she found herself on a large balcony. The view was incredible; the lake sat directly below the castle and was surrounded by mountains. But before long, she could no longer see the view clearly for the tears in her eyes. And as the first tear escaped and rolled gently down her cheek, it was as though floodgates had opened. She fell to the floor, alongside the stone balustrade and cried uncontrollably.

A hand on her shoulder made her jump. A Professor, who Penelope recognised as Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy teacher, was looking down at her. "I should tell you off for being here you know; the Astronomy Tower is out of bounds to students."

"I'm sorry" Penelope sobbed "I didn't realise, I just found myself here by accident"

"Well, it's alright I suppose, but what could have possibly upset you so much?"

Penelope had explained briefly about Professor Snape's questions, but left out the details of the feelings he evoked in her – probably best not to admit to that.

Looking at her mum, Penelope just said "I just sort of stumbled across it by accident really"

Her mother smiled, "fair enough" she said. "And now, one last question. Is there a boy you like at Hogwarts?"

Penelope blushed. "Mum!" she said embarrassed.

"Penny, you're sixteen. Do you honestly expect me to believe that you don't, or haven't liked anyone?"

Penelope sighed, and thought to herself 'Should I do this?'

"Well, there is this…guy…I have feelings for" She'd been careful not to use the word 'boy'

Selena's face lit up "I knew it!" She exclaimed. "So, tell me about him."

"It's complicated" Penelope sighed.

"How so?"

"Umm…he hates me" was all Penelope could say.

"Oh Penny, I'm sure he doesn't hate you. What would make you think that?"

"The very first time we…spoke…he embarrassed me in front of the entire class, I looked ridiculous. And now, every lesson since, for the whole 5 years, he's just ignored me completely – even if I try to talk" It was as close as she could get to the truth.

"Ok" Selena responded slowly "And, can I ask, what exactly is it you like about this seemingly rude boy?"

Penelope laughed "I suppose I haven't painted him in a very good light have I?" She sighed. "The first time I saw him, properly, up close, I just couldn't think about anything else, it was as though everything else had stood still. When he talks, I get this wonderful feeling of butterflies dancing in my stomach. He's so intelligent, and sounds so passionate when he talks about…things he likes. And…I just can't stop thinking about him."

"Oh Penny" Selena laughed "What is it the kids say nowadays – you've got it bad!"

Penelope erupted into fits of giggles hearing her mum talk this way, and it was soon followed by them both doubling over with laughter.

After laughing for what seemed like hours, Penelope said seriously "So what do I do Mum?"

Selena thought for a while. "I guess you need to show him that you like him, and see if he feels the same." She paused for a while. "I've got it! You could get him a Christmas present, or better yet, make one – something personal, something that he'll appreciate. When you give it to him, you can see how he reacts and then you'll know if he returns the feelings or not."

"Really? Are you sure?" Penelope asked, unconvinced.

"Trust me."

* * *

_**Authors Note: I just wanted to say thank you for the reviews, it made my day to see them. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.**_


	6. Part 2 Chapter 5

PART 2

Chapter 5

Severus Snape sat in his office; he couldn't believe he was already half way through his first week of term. Five years had passed since his recovery from Nagini's poisonous bite and his return to teaching. The years had passed quickly, which had surprised him considering that they had been so uneventful compared to the years he had endured prior to them. He had suddenly found himself in a surreal situation; he now had time that was all his. He couldn't remember when he'd last experienced this sort of freedom; freedom from a master, freedom from spying, and freedom from his vow to protect Harry Potter.

He no longer had to be alert and ready to report to Lord Voldemort as soon as the dark mark burned on his left forearm. He had had to use 100% of his concentration during the Dark Lords questioning; and it had taken all of his energy to hide his relationship with Dumbledore and his ulterior motives for being there. The Dark Lord had been the most accomplished Legilimens he had ever known; it had taken many a lesson with Albus Dumbledore to perfect his Occlumency skills to a point where he was at least an even match for Lord Voldemort. To many, he was known as the Dark Lords most trusted advisor, and that was true, he had been, but the Dark Lord had never truly trusted anyone, and would always test Severus' loyalty, through physical means and through Legilimency. The Dark Lord had known every embarrassing experience Severus had ever encountered; every rejection and every unhappy moment. The repercussions of allowing someone so evil, so far into your mind, were far worse than the scars left by any physical pain Severus had ever had to endure at the hands of Lord Voldemort.

Yes, he had certainly enjoyed having time to himself these past few years. The only time he had spent socially out of Hogwarts was when he was occasionally summoned to spend the day with the old Order of the Phoenix members. Well, summoned was a bit harsh, he supposed he should say invited, but he certainly wasn't going through choice. However, Minerva and that damned woman, Molly Weasley, would never let him hear the end of it whenever he refused to attend. They often met at the Burrow during the summer months and sat and talked over one of Molly's home cooked meals; it was as though no-one had anything better to do with their time. He'd seen enough of Potter and all those Weasley children while they'd been at school without now having to spend time with them as adults. And Potter, trying to befriend him – that was the last thing he wanted. Other than that, and teaching, he had used his time wisely - finally arranging to publish articles he'd previously written for various Potions journals, and continuing his various avenues of potions research.

He had just put the final mark on the last of his Third year essays he was marking, the highest grade he'd given was 'Acceptable' - maybe he was being too generous? He'd possibly re-read some later, but right now he had to prepare for the first Sixth year lesson of the term. This was the one he was dreading. Only one student in the year had managed to gain an 'Outstanding' grade in the Potions O.W.L's, and he could hardly change his N.E.W.T entrance grades now, it would raise suspicion. But being alone in a classroom with her for the next two years - he wasn't sure what he would do. Her grade hadn't been surprising at all though, he was expecting it. There was no denying she was the most brilliant Potions student he had ever taught, even better than Miss Granger - which he took great pleasure in telling her at every summertime Order gathering he had attended. She had an inquisitive mind which was perfect for research, and the logical thought required to follow potion recipes to perfection. He never called upon her to answer in class though, he made sure he ignored her; it was for the best after all. It was easy to notice how brilliant she was at her studies, but he found it harder and harder every year, not to notice how quickly she was growing up. And every year she looked more and more like…'No Severus, you have a lesson to get through, don't think about that now'.

He had just finished arranging the various cauldrons around the classroom when his thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Enter" He said curtly.

"Am I too early for the lesson Professor Snape?"

He turned slowly and saw her standing there in the doorway…Penelope.

"No Miss Jones, you are if anything, a little late." He knew she wasn't late, she was five minutes early actually, but he couldn't be nice to her; even being civil might give the wrong impression. It would be best to continue as he had for the last five years. Though it would be hard to ignore her completely when they were the only people in the room…

"Well, Miss Jones, as you have probably gathered by now, you will be the only N.E.W.T student this year. This will require a lot of extra work on your part, as there will not be another student for you to pair with. And there will also be less room for error with regards to your practical work and your homework. Is that clear?"

"Of course, Professor Snape" Penelope replied quietly.

"We will be starting with a test this lesson; I will be evaluating your ability to recognise some of the potions you will be studying this year. I would expect you to easily name all of them, giving me their name in English and Latin, and also to tell me their use and their signature characteristics. I doubt you will be able to give me the main ingredients, but then again, you may surprise me"

He moved slowly towards the desk at the back of the classroom, where he had placed a small golden cauldron. "Miss Jones, please can you describe this potion?"

He watched as she made her way over to the desk, placing her school bag on an empty chair. He could see her studying the potion, the scent, the colour. He was sure she would not guess this one correctly.

"It is a Truth Potion, Sir, also known by the Latin name, Veritaserum. As the English name suggests, it is used to force the drinker to tell the truth, I believe 3 drops would be sufficient for even the most secretive of people Sir."

He was shocked, he'd made sure he had never mentioned it to the students in class; she must have read about this one on her own. "And the characteristics, Miss Jones?" he said dryly.

"Well, in this case Sir, it is the lack of characteristics if you will. The potion is colourless and odourless, so as to make it easier for it to be used secretly. And Sir, you are correct; I do not know the main ingredients of this potion."

Again, he was shocked, not so much at her knowing the characteristics, but at her admitting she did not know the ingredients. She obviously wasn't afraid to admit she had more to learn, not arrogant at all. She was a very interesting student indeed. "Well, I knew that would be beyond your ability. Shall we move on?"

He was now standing at the next desk, where he had placed a large pewter cauldron. "Now, can you describe this potion?"

Again, he watched as she studied it, being careful not to get too close.

After a while, she answered "This is Polyjuice Potion, Sir. I believe the Latin name is Abeo Forma Humanus. By adding the hairs of another human, it will allow the drinker to change in appearance to look exactly like them. The characteristics are the mud-like consistency and the bubbles that appear, even though the potion is not boiling over a flame. From what I have read, the most important ingredient, other than the hair, is the Lacewing flies, as they need to be prepared correctly in order for the potion to be successful."

For a short while he was actually stunned speechless, she certainly did have an intellect like no other student he had ever taught. It wasn't until she peered up at him that he managed to clear his throat and talk. "That was an adequate answer, Miss Jones, this potion of course, is the most common out of the selection I am testing you on today, and you would not deserve to be in this N.E.W.T class if you could not have answered that correctly."

He swiftly moved on to the next desk. "And now this potion Miss Jones?"

She followed him to the desk and peered into the cauldron; it was the smallest of the four cauldrons set out and was also made of pewter.

"Oh" she gasped; as she peered inside "It's Liquid Luck!" She smiled as she looked up at him.

"Yes, Miss Jones, you are correct. However, that answer and response is what I'd expect from a second year learning how to make a Swelling Solution. Do you have any further information you wish to add, or is that your final answer?" he asked.

"I'm sorry Sir" she said, the smile quickly disappearing from her face. "It's just that I've read about this potion, and the characteristics, but seeing it is quite different." She paused while she took a deep breath. "Liquid Luck is also known by the Latin name of Felix Felicis. The colour and consistency is like molten gold and the potion can be recognised by the large droplets that appear to escape the surface. This potion makes the drinker lucky."

"Congratulations Miss Jones" he said dryly, "you have provided an adequate answer. This brings us on to our fourth and final potion". He moved now towards the front of the class where a silver cauldron sat on his desk. "Please can you name and outline the properties of this potion Miss Jones?"

She studied this potion for a lot longer than she had the others; there was a puzzled expression on her face.

"Sir…I don't believe I know this potion." She looked up at him, and he could see she was angry with herself for not knowing the answer. Something about the look in her eyes made him want to at least help her a little.

"With this potion, Miss Jones, the characteristics most people will recognise are the mother-of-pearl sheen and the unique scent."

"Yes Sir. I noticed the colour, and immediately thought of Amortentia, the love potion. However, when I read of this potion, in _Advanced Potion-Making,_ it quite clearly mentioned that the potion is supposed to smell differently to each individual, according to what…attracts them."

"You are correct, this is Amortentia, but what seems to be the problem with the scent Miss Jones?"

"Well, Professor, I can't smell anything"

"In that case you must try harder Jones, you need to concentrate. How do you ever expect to pass your Potions N.E.W.T if you aren't even able to recognise different scents? Try again, and just name each individual scent"

She closed her eyes and leant closer to the cauldron. After a while she sighed in frustration. "Sir, all I can smell are the usual scents of the Potions room and…" she suddenly stopped, her breath caught.

She slowly looked up at him; he could see there was fear in her eyes.

They stared at each other for a while before he turned and muttered "It must have been brewed incorrectly. You are dismissed." He watched as she ran from the room, only stopping to collect her bag.


	7. Part 2 Chapter 6

PART 2

Chapter 6

Penelope was sat in the Great Hall just starting her evening meal of Shepherd's Pie. It was quite late so there were only a handful of students still eating; most students liked to eat early so they could have more time to walk around the corridors before curfew. She always tried to eat when it was quieter; even after all this time, she still was not used to the hustle and bustle of castle life.

She turned to look at the halls entrance as she heard a cry of "There you are!" and seeing her friend rushing towards her, she smiled. "I've been looking for you everywhere!" Helena said, as she sat down, out of breath, on the bench beside her. "So, dare I ask how your potions lesson went this afternoon?"

"It wasn't good, but, better than I thought" Penelope replied "At least he spoke to me".

"Wow" Helena said shocked "He actually spoke to you? Well I suppose he doesn't really have a choice as you're his only student!" she said with a laugh. "I was worried it had been awful, I haven't been able to find you anywhere and thought you'd gone wandering, you seem to do that when you have a bad day. Jeez, I know I couldn't do it, private lessons with Snape, I can't think of anything worse. I think you're really brave"

Penelope sighed. She had never mentioned to Helena her feelings for Professor Snape, Helena had the same opinion of him as everyone else – greasy haired, hook nosed, and basically horrible. She had been nervous about her first private lesson with him, not because she was scared of him, but because all of his attention would be on her, and she dreaded a repeat of her first ever lesson with him, where she couldn't even speak. Unfortunately, even though the lesson had gone better than expected conversation wise, as in he had spoke and she had successfully answered, her ultimate goal of hiding her feelings from him had failed.

How could she have been so stupid with the Amortentia potion? She could have said she definitely knew it was Amortentia, rather than dithering over whether it was or not; but she had just been so worried about getting the answer wrong. Besides, if she had really thought about it, she would have probably realised that she would have smelt the potions classroom anyway – at least she could have made up any scent. What must he be thinking now?

Her thoughts were interrupted. "Hello…Penny, are you in there? " Helena was waving her hand in front of her face "I really hate it when you go into your own world like that; I never know what's going on in there."

"Sorry" Penelope said "I was just thinking. And that's why I didn't find you earlier; I just needed some time alone. Besides, I thought you might have been spending the evening with Roger?"

"Oh don't even get me started on that boy, I am so over him now" Penelope knew that Helena had really liked Roger, well liked him for a week at least, they had sent owls to each other through the summer holidays and it had gone from there. Penelope just didn't understand the girls in her year, fancying one boy then a few weeks later another boy; it was all too much for her! She had only one person on her mind…

"Penny, you're doing it again." Helena said as she nudged her in the side "Come on, hurry up and finish your food; we can go to the library to study, I've got a permit for us both from Professor Flitwick"

"To be honest, I'm not really that hungry, lets go now" as she stood she pushed her plate away, and within seconds it had vanished. Her evening was then spent completing her N.E.W.T level Charms homework.

Studying was the one time her mind was free of Professor Snape, she was dreading going to bed later that night, when she knew she would relive her potions class over and over in her mind. She would picture the graceful way he moved around the room; he was so tall and sure in his movements. And today was the closest she had ever been to him. Every other lesson had been spent sitting behind a desk making notes or working opposite him at a station, but today they had stood next to each other. She wondered what it would be like to stand so they were touching. What would it feel like to put her arms around him? To be so close to him, and look into his eyes; eyes of the deepest darkest black…she would give anything to find out what was going on behind them. She longed to be able to study his face, without fear of getting caught. And maybe even kiss him... It was going to be a horrible night. Spending all that time thinking about a man, whose voice and mere presence made her body tingle and forget all else, and but at the same time knowing he hated her...

* * *

Later that night, in his private chambers, Severus sat by the fire with a book open on his lap. He had discovered that the heat from the fire actually improved the pain in his muscles, and meant that he could at least relax for a while, but the pain would still kick in eventually, there was no stopping that. He had been reading through some of his old notes, looking for unfinished research he had started years ago. But soon realising he had read the same page at least five times, he gave up. "Why could she smell the potions room? And what else could she smell, she had definitely said 'and' " He thought to himself.

He was positive that he had brewed the potion correctly and had only said otherwise to get her out of the room. He wondered what could possibly attract her in the potions room? He was ashamed to say that the thought that maybe she felt something for him had entered his head. But that was nonsense; he knew that the chance of her reciprocating his feelings was impossible. Not that he had feelings for her now of course, but in the future, well…it was all so complicated.

It had always been fairly easy to ignore her during the lessons. But now he realised it was because he had seen her as a child, not the Penelope in his mind. But it seemed she had grown up so much this summer, more than ever before. She was sixteen now and in a years time would legally be classed as an adult. Where had the time gone? He could still remember that very first day he had seen her in the Great Hall. But when he had turned today and seen her standing in the doorway – it was like looking at an entirely different person.

Using his wand to extinguish the fire, he slowly got up and moved into his bedroom; he could feel the fire was about to stop soothing him. The room was furnished simply, to his tastes. The bed was rustic, made of untreated oak; the castles house elves always made sure it was nicely made with dark green blankets and soft pillows. Even though he didn't sleep, it helped him to be as comfortable as possible. The floor and walls were the same cold stone as the rest of the dungeons. There was no window so the only light source was from the several lamps placed around the room and the second fireplace next to his bed. The only other furniture in the room was a small bedside table, with a few books on top, a chair in the corner and an old wardrobe, again made of oak.

He managed to lie down just in time, as a sharp spasm of pain shot through his back. This was quickly followed by the usual temporary paralysis and then once the feeling returned to his muscles, another shot of pain would rip through his body. This would last for an hour or so, after which he would be left shaking for the rest of the night. Why this only happened at night he didn't know, and possibly never would. The only thing that gave him any form of solace was picturing that face in his mind, the one he'd seen in the mirror all those years ago.


	8. Part 2 Chapter 7

PART 2

Chapter 7

Christmas was one of Penelope's favourite times of year. Ever since she was a little girl, she had always loved celebrating it with her parents. As a family, they would decorate the entire house with wreaths they had made from holly and fir branches, berries and pine cones were used to decorate table tops and the house would be full of the smell of mulled wine; cinnamon and nutmeg. Her mother made all sorts of cookies and biscuits and also a huge Christmas cake decorated with icing and ribbon. While her father would go out to a nearby forest and get a perfect Christmas tree; which Penelope always loved to decorate with small wooden toys and sparkling stars and baubles. They would each put a present under the tree for each other, along with gifts they had maybe received from friends or family. Penelope had always saved any pocket money she got from her parents, so often made them gifts, but if anything, they loved these gifts even more then purchased ones.

She really couldn't wait to get home to them; she always missed them so much more at Christmas time. But it was made so much easier with Hogwarts looking so beautiful; the castle was nestled in the snowy grounds and Penelope had never seen anything as wonderful as the decorations. Every year, huge Christmas trees were placed around the Great Hall, decorated with icicles, fairies and even live birds that sang as you walked passed. The corridors were each decorated individually with a different theme. Some were really modern, with tinsel and streamers everywhere, while others were traditional with wreaths and mistletoe. The students spent lots of time moving between classes – either trying to dodge the mistletoe or trying to make sure they were caught underneath with the right person! The only place in the castle that didn't feel remotely festive was the dungeons. And that's exactly where Penelope was at this moment in time.

She had eaten dinner early before fetching the presents from Ravenclaw Tower and then heading off to visit each of the Professors in their classrooms to hand them out. It was late now and she had seen every Professor except one - Professor Snape. After that first sixth year lesson it had been a difficult decision as to whether or not to still give him a gift. She had written to her mother, explaining that she had embarrassed herself in front of him and that she was nervous, and was sure she had ruined her chances for good. But her mother had been kind and reassured her, after all, what did she have to lose? Maybe her gift would show him that there was more to her than what he saw, that she wanted the chance to get to know him. Besides, a few months had passed since that potions lesson, and his attitude towards her had been no worse than usual. The potions lessons had gone back to the way they had always been, she would sit silently and brew a potion or write notes; whilst the only comments from Professor Snape were to tell her the task for the lesson or to point out any errors she was making – and this was a rare occurrence anyway.

She had reached the door to his classroom; and her stomach was full of butterflies, but she couldn't distinguish whether they were a result of excitement or nerves. As much as she was looking forward to giving him the gift, she had to admit she was a bit scared. Hesitantly, she knocked on the door and waited, hoping he would still be there marking papers.

"Enter" She heard from within the room. Slowly opening the door, she walked in and made her way to his desk.

"Good evening Professor Snape" She noticed that he looked tired, well, more so than usual. It was obvious to her that he rarely slept, if at all, and this worried her. She hoped he wasn't ill; he wasn't the type of person to ask for help when he needed it - maybe she should mention it on the sly to Professor McGonagall? No, he wouldn't appreciate that at all...

"Did you have a question about your assignment Miss Jones? I thought I'd made the instructions perfectly clear for you" he sneered, whilst continuing to write on the essay he was marking.

"No sir, the assignment is going very well" She paused while she took a deep breath "I actually came to give you a Christmas present...Sir"

He slowly lowered his quill to the desk and lifted his face until he was glaring up at her, their eyes locked for what seemed like an eternity to Penelope. His eyes were the deepest black, and usually mysterious, but the meaning in them tonight was perfectly clear; she had never seen him look so angry, and she suddenly realised she had made a huge mistake.

Returning his attention back to the essay in front of him, he said curtly "I do not accept gifts from students. You are dismissed."

Her heart racing, Penelope turned and walked quickly towards the door, but before hurrying out of the room, she stopped, reached into her bag and placed a parcel on one of the desks. What did she have to lose after all?

* * *

At Minerva's request, Severus was sitting with the other staff members having Christmas dinner in the Great Hall. Severus usually preferred to eat alone in his rooms, but knew Minerva would not allow this on Christmas Day. Only a few students had stayed behind this year – two third year Gryffindors and three fifth year Slytherins – he'd have to keep an eye on the Slytherins, they wouldn't care that the Gryffindor students were younger and outnumbered.

He was keeping quiet, as most of the conversation around him was about all the presents the staff had received from students and friends alike. Severus, as usual, had not received any Christmas presents. Well, except for...

"Miss Jones, now there's a girl with good taste"

Severus' attention was caught as he heard her name. It was Professor Flitwick talking to Minerva.

"Oh indeed" Minerva replied "The quill she gave me was a beautiful pheasant feather quill"

"Mine too, she bought one for each of the members of staff, awfully nice of her, most students just give a present to the Head of their House" Professor Flitwick responded.

The image of the parcel sitting on one of the desks in the classroom appeared in his mind...a quill? As far as he could recall, it was quite a large parcel and was wrapped in traditional brown parcel-wrapping paper, good taste actually; he hated anything garish, like the usual Christmas wrapping paper he saw the students with. It had also been tied with some parcel string and had a label attached, though he had not read it, he'd just hidden the parcel away in the bottom of his desk. When he'd picked the parcel up it had been very soft, he hadn't paid much attention at the time but now he thought about it, he was sure the parcel didn't contain a quill...

* * *

The evening had been spent staring at the parcel, it had been hours. He had tried not to think about it at all, desperately trying to occupy his mind by reading a book, brewing a potion, marking some essays – but no matter what he had done, he could not stop thinking about the parcel that was hidden away in the bottom desk drawer. Eventually, he had taken it out and sat it on the table in front of his favourite armchair, and here he'd been ever since. He'd never received a Christmas present before, not even from his parents or the other Professors, let alone students. But this had never bothered him as he didn't care for Christmas in the slightest.

Christmas for him as a child had always been an awful affair. His father, Tobias Snape, had complete control over the families' money, so even when his Mother had wanted to give him a present she couldn't afford to buy anything. There were never any decorations, no family meal and no laughter or enjoyment. Even as he got older and spent his Christmas times at Hogwarts; he was still lonely; his Slytherin friends had always jumped at the chance to go home, they were very well off and their parents always spoiled them; buying them the latest brooms and joke shop tricks. No, Christmas wasn't for him at all.

This year was turning out a little differently though. He still couldn't believe she had given him a Christmas present! And even if she had given a gift to every other Professor as well, it did appear that she had gotten him something different to everyone else...

The suspense was too much, and without further hesitation, he stood and reached for the parcel and ripped the paper off...he couldn't believe his eyes. Tenderly, he picked up the gift inside the paper and returned to his chair. So simple...a scarf knitted in the Slytherin colours. A deep bottle green striped with light grey which had flecks of silver spun though it. As a talented wizard, he could feel that the scarf had no trace of magic in it at all. Which meant it was either purchased in a muggle store or hand made... He reached for the label that had been attached to the parcel...

_Professor Snape,_

_I wanted to make you a gift that I thought you would find useful._

_Merry Christmas_

_Penelope Jones_

Hand made...what with her studies and busy schedule it must have taken her months to complete this. But why would she have gone to all that effort just for him? Is it possible...could she...

No, it must be some kind of joke. There must be an ulterior motive somewhere; she must have thought that something good would come to her by putting so much effort into a gift for him. Did she think that he would mark her grades higher by trying to butter him up with gifts? Yes, it must be that. Well he wasn't falling for that, did she think he was stupid. She was probably writing an owl to that silly friend of hers right now, saying how she was sure to get a good potions grade this year from the feared potions master...

But, would it cause any harm if he imagined it was for another reason?


	9. Part 3 Chapter 8

PART 3

Chapter 8

_5__th__ September 2005_

_Dear Mr & Mrs Jones,_

_I am writing with regards to your daughter and her current situation at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. _

_As her Headmistress, I take my role in making sure she is healthy while she stays at Hogwarts very seriously, as I do with all my students. I had received reports from several of your daughters Professors towards the end of the last academic year expressing their concern for her. Her grades were remaining high, as always, however her health appeared to deteriorate. Though naturally a quiet girl, she became more withdrawn from her close friends and also the Professors as well. She was not as active in lessons and had to visit the hospital wing on a number of occasions for treatment of exhaustion – as a result of skipping meals, lack of sleep and from over work. Her fellow students have informed me that she will remain awake for most of the night, and appears to be studying, however quite often they note that she is just using the study materials as a disguise, and is often doing nothing more than staring into space. _

_As is the case with young people, the stress of the end of year exams and their studies will have an effect on their health, and we endeavour to provide as much support as possible for them during these difficult times. We discussed the situation with Penelope several times and she expressed home sickness as the cause of her troubles. We had hoped that Penelope's return home for the summer holidays would therefore revive her and that she would return to us in September rested and well. However, I am sorry to say that this is not the case._

_I can only apologise for not discussing this issue with you sooner, Penelope is a very intelligent girl and I was sure that if she was experiencing problems with anything at all she would have informed, if not you, then a member of staff._

_We are very keen to help Penelope through this time, so if you have any ideas at all as to what might be causing these issues, please do let me know and please remember that I am here to help you in any way I can._

_I look forward to hearing from you, _

_Yours sincerely,_

_Prof. M McGonagall_

_Headmistress_

_

* * *

_

_7__th__ September 2005_

_Dear Headmistress McGonagall,_

_Thank you for your previous owl, and for informing us of the situation. It seems that Penelope is not offering the full story to either of us. We did of course notice the change in her when she returned home. At first she explained it as a being tired from her studies, and then, as her condition did not improve, she said she was missing Hogwarts. We will be writing to Penelope over the next few weeks to see how she is feeling and to see if she will open up to us at all. _

_We will keep you informed of our progress and will look to you for guidance if we cannot find out the cause of the problem. We know that you have a lot of experience in helping students through times like these._

_Many thanks,_

_Mr I Jones_

_

* * *

_

_10__th__ October 2005_

_Dear Headmistress McGonagall,_

_Further to our previous owl, we are still receiving regular letters from Penelope, however she is still not expressing that anything is the matter. _

_We are of course becoming more and more concerned as time passes. Please let us know if you have noticed any change in her behaviour at all._

_Many thanks_

_Mr I Jones_

_

* * *

_

_12__th__ October 2005_

_Dear Mr Jones,_

_Thank you for your owl. _

_Unfortunately we have not seen a positive change in Penelope's behaviour; she has remained the same since arriving at Hogwarts. I have discussed the issue again with her Professors, but to no avail. Penelope is still very much withdrawn and had her first visit to the hospital wing yesterday, where she received a dose of Pepper-up Potion to help with a cold she has developed. Madame Pomfrey did manage to determine that this is likely to be the result of Penelope wandering around the corridors after hours. I can assure you this is not something we were aware of before and I have asked more Professors to patrol at night in order to restrict this, though they will not be made aware that it is solely for this purpose._

_I will inform you of any changes as soon as they occur. I believe the next step will be to arrange a meeting between ourselves, where we can discuss this further and possibly talk to Penelope as well._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Prof. M McGonagall_

_Headmistress_

* * *

It was a particularly cold November night and the not the best night to be volunteered for corridor patrol. He was dreading returning to his chambers now, knowing that the intensity of the painful spasms would have increased with the cold. He was sure that if Minerva knew how much this affected him she wouldn't volunteer him at all, but it was better to suffer than admit to her that he was struggling. Besides, any student wandering around the corridors late at night at this time of year would definitely be up to no good, or they'd have to be insane. Students will do anything to fulfil a practical joke or meet for a midnight duel; the cold probably doesn't affect them as much as it affects him anyway. It would make the patrol much more worthwhile to catch a student up to mischief and put them in detention, the cauldrons in his room needed scouring.

He'd walked around the main areas of the school several times, and not found anything, so decided to make his way to the outskirts of the castle, starting with the Astronomy tower. He swiftly made his way up the staircase and out onto the balcony. He stood for a moment by the balustrade, looking out at the view, it was cloudless and you could make out most constellations in the stars; his breath appeared as fine smoke drifting up into the sky; it really was freezing up here. He suddenly started to feel uncomfortable; he had a strange feeling that he was not alone. Turning, he noticed a figure standing in the shadows. "Show yourself" he demanded. As the figure slowly stepped into the light, he recognised her immediately, Penelope. What on earth was she doing on the Astronomy Tower at this time of night?

"Not breaking the rules are we Miss Jones?" He sneered at her "Are you not aware that it is passed the students curfew and that the Astronomy Tower is out of bounds to students at any time other than lessons?"

"I'm sorry Sir, I was having trouble sleeping" she mumbled while stepping closer to him, her face turned towards the ground.

"And that automatically gives you permission to break two school rules, does it?"

"No, Sir" her voice was barely heard it was so quiet

"Miss Jones, I cannot hear a word you're saying, look at me when I'm talking to you" He snapped.

Slowly, she lifted her head to meet his gaze, and unexpectedly, her face lit up with a smile...

'What on earth was she thinking, smiling at him like that?' he thought to himself. She was just staring at him and for a moment it unnerved him. Looking down at himself, he suddenly realised what had made her so happy...

"Miss Jones, I suggest you return to your dormitory immediately, otherwise I will ensure you spend the rest of the school year in detention with Filch" At this, he turned and fled from the balcony, taking the steps two at a time as he swiftly descended back to the dungeons.

* * *

How could he have been so stupid? He never should have let his guard down. This is what comes from weakness, he thought, it always ends in trouble. What would she think of him now?

He'd been wearing the scarf she had made him every night for the past year, even through the summer months. It bought him great comfort having it close to him, and helped immensely with the physical pain he had to endure. Now, not only did he have the image from the mirror to provide solace, but a physical representation of her as well. It did not matter that the scarf was given to him with ulterior motives, in the privacy of his mind; it was a gift from someone who cared about him, and someone he cared for in return. Never before had he experienced this feeling before, so it did not matter that it wasn't real.

* * *

**Authors' Note: I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who have taken the time to read my story and especially to those of you who have reviewed. It really does make my day to read your comments; it amazes me that people might enjoy my writing ****so thank you xx **


	10. Part 3 Chapter 9

PART 3

Chapter 9

Penelope couldn't believe her eyes as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She had, in legal terms, been an adult ever since her 17th birthday a few months ago, but she certainly hadn't felt like one, until this moment. The dress her mother had sent her was perfect; it was sophisticated and classy. And Helena had done her make-up and hair perfectly. She certainly felt like a woman, rather than a young girl.

That night, on the Astronomy Tower, when she had seen that Professor Snape was wearing the scarf she had made him, it was as though a new lease of life had rushed back into her body. It was proof that he had opened the present and not only that, he was wearing it, and so he must like it. And maybe, just maybe, that meant that he liked her. This was the last chance, her final shot at finding out for sure if her feelings for him were reciprocated.

She'd been planning this moment for months…

* * *

_Hi Mum,_

_You'll never guess what! He was wearing the scarf, I saw him wearing the scarf! He likes it, I can't believe it, you were right about the Christmas present. I'm so excited; I don't know what to do. But I think I have a plan, in a few months, just before Christmas, there's going to be a Yule Ball, you have to help me. I can dress up and well, I don't know what will happen, but it's the perfect chance to find out for sure. Please, you have to help me._

_Lots of love,_

_Penelope xxxx_

_

* * *

__Well you've certainly changed your tune Penny…I'm really happy to hear you're excited about the Yule Ball, but you seem to be forgetting how worried your father and I have been this last year. We had to write to Professor McGonagall about it all, she's been very worried too. I can't believe that all this time you've been upset about a boy, honey why couldn't you have told me that, we could have talked, I could have helped. I thought that we could talk about anything, obviously not. _

_Anyway, about this ball, I think I have the perfect dress. It was the dress I wore to my school dance when I was 18, it's what I was wearing the night I met your father. I'm sure it will look absolutely stunning on you. I'll package it up and send it. _

_Is there anything else you need, please let me know? It's just so nice to hear you so excited about something._

_I love you._

_Mum xxxx _

_

* * *

_

Dear Professor McGonagall,

_I am just writing to inform you that we have seen a marked improvement in Penelope recently. My wife has told me that in her last owl, she has mentioned the Yule Ball which is to be held at Hogwarts this Christmas. She is getting very excited and planning her outfit with my wife as we speak. My wife also seems to have gotten to the bottom of the issues troubling Penelope this last year. There has been a boy she has liked at school, and his lack of interest seems to have caused her this great upset. I believe she sees the ball as an opportunity to express her feelings for him._

_I would never expect you to get involved in the personal relationships of your students; however, as you have seen how hugely this other student affects Penelope's mood and health, I would appreciate it if you could keep an eye on her, and the other student if you are able to find out who he is. It may be a young harmless relationship to him, but to her it obviously means a lot more._

_Many thanks for all your help._

_Kind regards,_

_Ivor Jones_

_

* * *

_

Hi Mum,

_I'm really sorry I worried everyone so much, you're right, I wasn't thinking about how it would affect other people I guess. The whole thing, it's hard for me to explain, he's not just any guy - he's like no-one else I've ever met. I don't even think he realises how amazing he is. I didn't need to talk about it, or maybe I just didn't want to talk about it. I know I can come to you about anything. And don't worry about writing to Professor McGonagall; I understand. I'm just sorry I worried everyone so much. _

_I suppose I don't really sound like myself at the moment do I, getting all excited about the ball. But I really think this could be my chance, you don't understand how much he means to me. _

_The dress sounds great; do you honestly think it will look good? I have no idea about things like that really, I suppose I can ask Helena how I look…umm…I could also use some make-up I think, all the girls wear it. But nothing crazy, he won't like that, it needs to be really subtle, like when you go out with Dad and put make-up on, so you can't tell you're wearing it. And how should I wear my hair, it needs to look classic and elegant, what style will look good with the dress? Oh, mum, why didn't I ever join in with the other girls when they talked about hair and make-up and stuff? This would have been so much easier…_

_I just really want to impress him…_

_Love Penelope xxxx _

_

* * *

_

Penelope…you have to trust me, the dress will look amazing. Now I think a little bit of make-up may be nice, but I really think you should just be yourself, and you're beautiful just the way you are, you don't need make-up and fancy hairstyles. And you don't need to impress him, if he can't see how wonderful you are naturally, he's not worth it. I'll be honest, he sounds very mature for his age if he'll like a girl with subtle make-up and a classic and elegant hairstyle. If he's that mature, he'll appreciate you for more than just your looks, but your personality too, your intelligence, your kindness, I thought you'd always realised there was more to love than the way you look?

_I'll send a few pieces of make-up if you want, I'm sure Helena will help you put it on. Your hair will look lovely up with the dress, but keep it casual, the dress is glamorous enough. Just tie it up loosely like you do at home, as a bun, with a few strands around our face, it will show off the dress beautifully and make you look very sophisticated._

_Honey, please don't worry, just relax and enjoy the ball._

_Lots of love xxx_

_

* * *

_

Dear Mr Jones,

_Thank you for your owl._

_I'm pleased to hear that you have noticed an improvement in Penelope's mood; I too have noticed a positive change. She is much happier during her lessons and I notice that she has started to talk to her friends more._

_I never thought that a boy would have been the cause of her low mood these last few months; I'll admit it's not uncommon for teenagers to treat their relationships as the be all and end all of their world, and put far too much emphasis on them. However, I've honestly never noticed Penelope with a boy from her year. Normally, teachers will know most of the latest couples in the school, they'll be seen walking to class together, spending lunch together, or visiting Hogsmeade together, but we've never noticed Penelope with anyone._

_Please do let me know if you notice any further changes in her, and I will keep an eye out at the Yule Ball to check she is OK._

_Kind regards,_

_Professor McGonagall_

_

* * *

_

Hi Helena,

_I keep trying to talk to you but you're ignoring me, and I completely understand why. These last few months I haven't been a good friend at all. The truth is, there's someone at school that I like, really like. And the reason I haven't told you is because, well, he's someone that I shouldn't really like, and no-one knows about it. I can't even bring myself to write his name in this letter to you. But, well, a few months ago, something happened, which proved that he didn't like me back, well, I suppose it proved that he hated me, and well, I just stopped caring I guess. It drives me crazy, I don't know where these feelings come from, he's all I can think about, and I think…I think I…love him. Even that sounds crazy. But I know that this is no excuse for me being so awful to you, you're my best friend, you've always been there for me, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner. I can see how horrible I've been now I've snapped out of the state I've been in these last few months, and I've snapped out because now I think there's a chance he does actually like me back. My mum has sent me the most amazing dress to wear to the Yule Ball; I really want to impress him..._

_Anyway, I'm really really sorry, I really want to make it up to you and be your friend again. I hope in time you can forgive me._

_Penelope xx _

_

* * *

_

Hey Penny,

_I got your owl…I know I've been ignoring you, but there was no need to get the owl to peck holes in my bag until I wrote a response…you'll have to help me fix it, I tried but it still looks frayed and ragged. Look, I wanna be your friend, really I do, but imagine how I feel now, knowing that the reason you've been the way you have is because of some guy...and you couldn't even tell me…me! I know a bit about boys Penny - I could have helped. You have to tell me who it is; it can't be that embarrassing…there's a girl in my charms class seeing a guy in the year 2 years below us. It can't be worse than that!_

_Anyway…I have missed you, loads. Look, come and meet me in the library later, we'll do our Charms homework and we'll try and sort this out._

_H xx _

* * *

"Are you ready to go down?" Helena asked, as she popped her head around the door to the dorm.

"Umm…I think so…starting to get a bit nervous now though"

"Penny, it will be fine, look, I don't know who this guy is, but he'll be crazy not to go for you, you look amazing"

"Well, I couldn't have done it without you, I never expected you to help me so much, after the way I've been"

"Look, I forgave you didn't I? Forgive and forget - that's what friends are for. Besides, Merlin only knows what you'd have done to your face if you'd used that nail varnish on your eyes!" she said giggling.

"I am a bit hopeless with make-up aren't I?"

"Just a bit, come on, let's go"


	11. Part 3 Chapter 10

PART 3

Chapter 10

There was a definite buzz in the atmosphere, as he made his way towards the Great Hall; however, he seemed to be the only Professor who saw this as a bad sign. The excitement that had been spreading rapidly through the castle over the past couple of weeks was not limited to the students alone, many of the Professors also saw this as an opportunity to let their hair down and enjoy themselves. He on the other hand, only saw it as an opportunity for trouble. There would be mischief among the younger years, they often tried to sneak in, pretending to be sixth or seventh years; emotional witches in the middle years, upset because they weren't allowed to attend; and well the older students were legally adults so it didn't take an intelligent wizard to guess at what they'd be trying to get up too. Unfortunately it was left to him to deal with these students, the other professors were far too busy dancing and enjoying themselves.

As he entered the Great Hall through one of the doors behind the staff table, he could see the other Professors putting the finishing touches to the decorations. He'd never admit it to anyone else, but he did think the Hall looked incredible; too much for his tastes, but stunning none the less. The Christmas trees were still looking fresh and green, due to the charms placed on them by Professor Flitwick. McGonagall had transfigured the ceiling to look as though it was snowing, and to finish the effect, the furniture was finished with a very fine dusting of a sparkling powder which made everything appear as though it was covered in a fine layer of ice on a sunny morning. As with other years, rather than the house tables, smaller tables of 10 had been placed around the edge of the hall, with a space for dancing in the middle.

Traditionally, the Yule Ball was only celebrated when there was a special occasion, such as the Tri-wizard tournament, however, since the war, it had been held every year for the older students. By now, the Professors had all made their way to the platform by the staff table to watch the students file in, he wasn't watching though. He had hated every ball that had been held so far, so knew that nothing, nothing at all, would make this evening enjoyable…then he saw her.

His breath caught in his chest as she appeared in the doorway; he had never seen anyone so incredibly beautiful in all his life. Her dress was a deep midnight blue that shimmered as she moved. It was floor length and made of a very delicate silk, it was held up by thin straps and had a v neck, not too low though. She looked older than all the other seventh year students; as she walked she had a grace and maturity about her that he had never really noticed before. She turned and he saw the dress was backless, shown off by the fact that her hair was twisted into a knot just above the nape of her neck, exactly how she wore it when she was brewing a potion. The crazy thing was, she was alone…she had no date. How could none of the seventh year boys have asked her? None of them even seemed to be noticing her, when she was clearly the most stunning woman in the room…no…girl...she was a student…he had to stop thinking this way.

Turning to McGonagall he said "I'm going outside to check none of the younger students are in the grounds".

"Oh Severus, can't you just relax for one night." But by the time she had finished, he was already part way out the door.

* * *

He had managed to find 3 students in the grounds and swiftly awarded them detention before sending them back to their dormitories. Unfortunately it hadn't helped him forget that vision of her in the dress. He had always thought her incredibly beautiful, so why was this affecting him so much? It couldn't have been because of her outfit, he preferred women to look natural rather than dressed up, and that went for their hair style and make up as well. She was a very naturally pretty girl, she didn't need all that other stuff…but tonight she had looked like a woman…maybe that's what was so difficult for him. He could see she wasn't a girl anymore, a student yes, but an adult, she was 17 after all…she was a woman.

He sat on a nearby stone bench, his hands resting on the cool stone either side of him, which caused his shoulders to hunch. Head down, he studied the weave of the fabric of his robes. Hadn't he been through enough? All he wanted now was a quiet life, but this…this torture was following him. Whenever he saw her, he felt lonely, lonely in a way he never had.

Thanks to Potter, his feelings for Lily Evans were known by the entire wizarding world. However, after the war, he realised that he wasn't really still in love with her. He had loved her in his youth of course, and loved her for a time after she was murdered by his then master. But the guilt he had felt, and still felt, about her death, kept all those feelings of love fresh and present in his mind, even if they weren't still true. It was only now he could see that he hadn't been in love with her for a long time, now that he had met Penelope. So here he was again, another woman he loved, but could never have.

When he had first become a death eater, there had been plenty of female death eaters to help him try and take his mind off Lily. None of them had ever meant anything to him, just as he had never meant anything to any of them. They got together purely to meet a physical need. But now things were different, he felt lonely in a different way. Penelope made him think of companionship, someone to share with, and someone to discuss potions and work with...and dare he think it, someone to have a family with. But it would never happen, and there was no substitute for it. He had to live knowing it would never be his, that she would never be his.

Suddenly he jumped up as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Professor Snape, are you OK? I'm sorry to startle you; I thought you'd have heard me walking"

It was her…Penelope. She looked even more beautiful standing in front of him. Her skin looked luminescent in the moonlight, skin so pale, it made her lashes looked deep, deep black; her eyes had never looked so striking. She stepped closer to him; they were so close they were almost touching.

Clearing his throat he said "I am absolutely fine Miss Jones, did you wish to report anything - have you seen a student misbehaving?"

"No Sir…but I did need to speak to you about something?"

"Miss Jones, you might have noticed that there is in fact a Ball, my time this evening is for patrolling and making sure that no students cause any trouble. We can discuss your school work after the Christmas holidays"

"Well, Sir, I actually want to discuss the Ball…not my work"

"And what could you possibly need to discuss with me about the Ball?"

He noticed her chest rise as she took a deep breath; her cheeks had flushed a shade of pink to match her lips.

"I wanted to ask you to dance…Sir" she exhaled after saying this, and looked up into his eyes.

He prided himself on being able to see when a person was lying, but as he looked into her eyes, he could see nothing but the truth. He couldn't believe it…all this time…the scarf…it was real. She felt something for him too, but how was that possible?

Images started racing through his mind, he imagined them sitting together reading, working on potions together, walking and talking together. He imagined being able to hold her…to touch her. Then, he thought of her reaction to the scars on his body, her reaction to the after effects of the snake venom he suffered with every night…her reaction to his past when he told her about it. He thought about what other people would say when they saw them together, she was stunningly beautiful and young enough to be his daughter…while he had long greasy hair, a hooked nose…he was Severus Snape…the murderer. She would be discriminated against if she associated herself with him, she was an incredibly talented witch, and could have whatever future she wanted…but if she was with him…her options would be no where near as great.

He wanted nothing more right now than to take her in his arms and just stand there holding her, but he couldn't bring himself to say so. To lead her on now would be wrong, she was young, and had her whole life ahead of her. She deserved someone whole, someone good. Someone who could give her everything she would ever need and possibly want in life. Looking directly into her eyes, he prayed his voice would be steady and not betray him.

"Miss Jones, as a teacher I do not want to dance with a student, and as a man, I do not want to dance with you. I suggest you go back inside and find a seventh year boy to dance with"

The look on her face caused him to feel more pain inside than anything he'd ever felt in his life. He could almost see her heart breaking. How on earth she could feel this way about him, he'd never understand, but it was better this way…much better. In time, she would meet someone else and forget about him, she'd move on with her life. He could cope with this hurt, he deserved it after all.

He watched as she stepped back, and looked to the ground…then turning, she ran back towards the castle entrance.


	12. Part 4 Chapter 11

PART 4

Chapter 11

It was the morning after the Yule Ball and Severus was making his way back to the castle, he had just finished seeing the students safely back on the train to London. In the rest of the schools eyes, the Yule Ball had been pretty uneventful; there had been one or two arguments between couples, but no major events at all. Though for Severus, it had been a different matter entirely.

After their conversation, he had not seen Penelope at the ball again; he presumed she had gone to her dormitory. He'd spent the rest of the night wondering whether or not to tell one of her friends or the other Professors that he had seen her upset, so they could check on her, but decided against it. After the ball, he had returned to his chambers and poured himself a large glass of Firewhisky. He knew he'd feel the repercussions in the morning, and regret it, but drank it anyway. It was years since he had tasted alcohol, and it was far stronger than he'd remembered. For the first time in ages, he had felt himself begin to doze, but before long, his sleep had been interrupted by a sharp spasm of pain. He normally did all he could to make himself comfortable, but that night he knew he hadn't deserved it. He had let himself fall to the floor, and there he had lain for the rest of the night, shaking on the cold flagstones. Visions of Penelope swam through his thoughts…visions of her in the midnight blue dress, how she had looked standing so close to him, asking him to dance…

By the time morning had come round, he was exhausted. He had known it was morning because one of the castles' elves appeared with a breakfast tray. The elves knew Severus, and remembered the orders Headmaster Dumbledore had given them, all those years ago, to always look after Severus. The house elf had helped Severus to eat and got him ready for the day. If he hadn't had to get up to see the students off, he would have definitely stayed in his rooms. However, he had followed the other Professors outside and checked off each student as they left and boarded the train.

In the light of day, the idea that Penelope reciprocated his feelings seemed somewhat ridiculous. He'd started to wonder if maybe he'd imagined their conversation. He hadn't seen Penelope at all that morning either, but remembered she was on the list of students that were down to stay at Hogwarts over the holidays. He had thought she might have changed her mind, but obviously not. He was dreading seeing her at lunch, and started to think of ways to distract himself.

He had reached the doors to the castle by now, and it was lunchtime, so he started to make his way to the Great Hall, where the staff and the students who were staying would be eating. He noticed that she was not at the table when he arrived, and an empty chair remained even when everyone had started eating.

"April, did you see Penelope Jones at all in the Ravenclaw common room this morning?" he heard Professor McGonagall ask a shy second year girl, who was sitting to her left.

"No, Professor" the girl whispered in reply.

Professor McGonagall then asked the staff if anyone had seen her board the Hogwarts Express that morning, but none of them had. The rest of the staff carried on eating while Professor McGonagall went and checked in the dormitory and the girls' bathrooms, but Severus couldn't eat. He was starting to get a disturbing feeling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling of dread and worry. He wondered if anyone had seen her since they had talked.

All the Professors looked up as The Grey Lady floated through the hall and hovered over the table "Professor McGonagall has asked if all the staff can please join her in the entrance hall. Professor Sprout, if you could stay with the students?"

The rest of the Professors swiftly made their way to the entrance hall, where Professor McGonagall was standing, wringing her hands.

"Minerva, what's happened" Severus demanded.

"I don't know at this time Severus, I cannot find her in the dormitory at all. I summoned the house elf for that room, to ask if she had seen her at all, but the elf informed me that the bed had not been slept in, it was made, and just as she'd left it yesterday morning. I can only assume that Miss Jones did not return to the dormitory last night, but where she might be now...I do not know."

"We must search every where, and quickly" Professor Flitwick said.

Severus could feel that dreaded feeling in his stomach growing, if anything had happened to her, he'd never forgive himself. The Professors had all started to disperse, each taking a different corridor from the hall, the ghosts headed up through the ceiling to check the upper floors.

Severus tried to think…where would she go? Suddenly, it dawned on him…though he prayed he'd be wrong. He ran as fast as he could, adrenaline was making his legs move as fast as they would go. He took the stairs two at a time, and finally, he reached the top of the stairs to the Astronomy Tower and flew through the door. It was absolutely freezing up here; it was so cold a fine layer of snow that had fallen overnight covered the balcony…there was no clear sign of her anywhere. He walked to the edge and looked over…nothing. Then, as he turned, he noticed a low mound of snow underneath the ledge by one of the balustrades…and he could see a hint of midnight blue showing through. He ran over and sent red sparks up from his wand. Gently he picked up the figure in front of him, and brushed the snow away. Her eyes were closed and her face had a blue tint. How could he have let this happen? He could hear the footsteps of the other Professors on the stairs behind him. His mind was going blank; he couldn't think what to do to help her. He just cradled her body close to his, trying to warm her.

"Penelope" he heard McGonagall's voice behind him, and then felt someone trying to pull her body away from him.

"Severus, please let me see her, I need to check her."

Looking up, he could see Madam Pomfrey in front of him, trying to check Penelope's pulse and breathing; but he still couldn't let her go.

"Severus! OK, if you won't let her go, at least carry her to the Hospital Wing"

Hearing Madame Pomfrey say these words, he stood up and walked as quickly as possible, following her through the corridors. There were footsteps behind him, and whispers between the Professors, trying to work out how this could have happened. Only he knew the answer to that question, and he knew it was his fault. They reached the hospital wing, and he laid her gently on one of the beds. Her dress was soaked through from the snow, and had made his robes damp where he'd held her close. Lying on the bed, she looked so small and fragile. He sat on the edge of the bed and lifted her hand, holding it gently in his own. With his other hand, he tried to wipe the loose strands of hair away from her face, but it was frozen stiff. Her body started to shiver, when Madame Pomfrey started a fire in the fireplace next to the bed, she was starting to feel again. Using her wand, Poppy started reciting charms that Severus had never heard before.

"We need to get her warm, but slowly, we don't want her body to go into shock." He heard her say, but her voice sounded muffled, like he was hearing her talk through water.

"Poppy, please, you have to save her, please" he let go of Penelope's hand and grabbed Poppy's over the bed; he was looking directly into her eyes…"Please". Poppy had never seen him look so serious.

"I'll try my best, I'm positive she'll be absolutely fine, but please Severus, leave me work."

Severus stood and took a step back from the bed. He couldn't bear to watch this, but he had to. It was his fault, why should he be allowed to turn off from it. Madam Pomfrey finished working the spells, then transfigured Penelope's dress into some warm pyjamas, and covered her with a blanket.

"She'll be fine physically, but she needs rest, she probably won't come round for a couple of days. Then we can see if her mind has been affected."

"What do you mean?" Severus asked quickly.

"Well, when the body gets that cold, the first thing to happen is for some of the brain activities to shut down, difficulty in speaking, sluggish thinking, and amnesia start to appear…we'll have to wait and see what type of long term affects this may have caused. It looks as though she's been up there all night. Her dress would have provided no protection whatsoever; she's lucky to be alive"

Severus fell to his knees, shaking.

"Poppy, I need to write to Penelope's parents, I'll tell them the situation, they'll get here as fast as they can I'm sure. Is it OK to leave her in your care? I'll be back later." Minerva said.

"Of course Headmistress"

"Very well, please let me know immediately if there is any change in her condition at all." She paused to look at Severus. "Follow me Severus"

He turned as Minerva walked passed him, towards the fire, took a handful of floo powder from the mantelpiece and said in a clear voice "My Office".

Obediently Severus followed, but looked back at Penelope before saying "Headmasters office" and dropping the floo powder around him.

_**

* * *

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Authors note: I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who have read my story and reviewed, I really hope you're enjoying these latest chapters.


	13. Part 4 Chapter 12

_**Authors note 2: This is version 2 of this chapter, after re-reading the chapter; I could also see that it did feel rushed; I've hopefully made some improvements - many thanks to **__**nasimrochester.**_

_Authors note 1: I had to include a note at the beginning of this chapter after reading a recent review my story has received. I welcome constructive criticism – any comments from readers that will help me to improve my writing or the plot are good in my eyes. But to read a review suggesting that this story is promoting a romantic relationship between an adult and a child has thrown me a bit, as this is not at all the type of story I aimed to write. I thought that throughout the plot I had made it clear that in no way is Severus interested in Penelope while she is still a child, and I hope that this next chapter will help to explain why he has shown any interest in her at all since she's turned 17. I have planned the layout for the rest of the story, approximately 30 chapters in total, and I do want to finish it as I had planned. But I need to be sure that people understand that in no way am I promoting any type of inappropriate relationship between an adult and a child. I honestly didn't think that this would be an issue – maybe I've just read too many Severus / Hermione fanfics! The only thing left to say I guess, is if you don't like the pairing, be it Snape with a character other than Lily, or Snape with a younger woman, then please don't read on. But if you do…I hope you enjoy it! _

PART 4

Chapter 12

"Is there anything you wish to tell us Severus?"

They were sitting in the Headmistresses office, Minerva behind her desk, while Severus sat in one of the guest chairs. By 'us', he knew she was also referring to the portrait of Albus Dumbledore behind her; whenever Severus was involved, he always made sure he was present and included.

Severus couldn't stand to look at the portrait, it hurt too much, instead, he lowered his gaze and rested his forehead on his hand, with his elbow on the armrest.

Sighing with frustration, Minerva then asked impatiently "OK, perhaps you can help me write a letter to Penelope's parents, explaining to them how their daughter has ended up in the hospital wing?" her voice had risen by this point. Severus could sense her annoyance at not understanding how he was involved in all of this.

He could only groan in response though, he didn't need anyone to tell him it was his fault Penelope was in the hospital wing. How could he even begin to explain this to Minerva and Albus? They'd certainly think him crazy. But still, maybe, just maybe it was time to be honest…

Looking up, into Minerva's piercing eyes, he started. "Do you remember, all those years ago, when we stored the Mirror of Erised in the school? Albus asked me to transport it to a room, to keep it there until it was moved to its final place. Filch, needed my help, and distracted me, I had a lapse in concentration and the cloth that was covering the face of the mirror slipped off…"

"Severus" Minerva interrupted abruptly "I have a student in the Hospital wing, I'm sorry, but this is not the time to be reliving moments before Voldemort returned! I just need to know what happened to Penelope"

"And if you'd listen, Minerva, that's what I'm trying to tell you." He snapped in response. Then, lightening his tone, he continued "In order for you to understand, you need to hear the whole story, from the beginning"

"But what on earth does the Mirror of Erised have to do with Penelope?" she asked. Severus could see the surprise on her face, but said nothing, he just looked at her, waiting patiently for her to realise that this story had to be told in his own time.

"OK, I'm sorry Severus, please continue" and she settled back in her chair to listen.

* * *

"I had been so careful, so careful not to let the cloth slip. I had been so scared of seeing…of seeing Lily." She noticed that he kept pausing over his words, that wasn't like Severus at all, and suggested that this story was going to be far more difficult for him to tell her than he might have first thought.

"I couldn't bear the thought of coming face to face with her. But, as I said, Filch startled me and the cloth slipped. In the mirror I saw myself, standing next to a woman, with my arm around her, and in my other arm was a young boy, he looked just like me, and just like her as well. He was our son. But the woman…it wasn't Lily. It was someone else, I'd never seen her before, never imagined her in my mind before. But there it was, my hearts deepest desire, and it wasn't Lily. That image, of the family I so desired, haunted me most nights after that. I never got the image of that woman's face out of my mind. But I always figured that she wasn't real. I had never seen her, never seen anyone who looked remotely like her…"

Minerva watched him as he spoke, his voice was mainly monotone, she could tell he was just trying to say everything, without feeling, but when he talked about Lily, she could sense that there was still some guilt there, his voice would always fail him slightly.

"That is…until about 7 years ago." He looked up at her with a questioning look on his face; she nodded for him to continue.

"It was my first year back to teaching, after the war, after I'd spent the year in the hospital wing recovering from Nagini's bite. It was the first night, and the first year students all filed in, and there she was. A first year student, practically identical to the woman I saw in the mirror. I didn't think it was possible. I didn't think she could be real; I stared at her for ages, trying to make out her features, see something about her that was different. But I couldn't. And then, during her first potions lesson, I stood right in front of her, and I knew it was her. She had the same chocolate brown hair, the same emerald green eyes, the same bone structure. It was her, but she was only 11. I couldn't believe how cruel the world was being, letting me see that woman from the mirror, and then letting me meet her, but as an 11 year old." His face contorted as he said this, he looked so angry, but there was also a pained look to his face that Minerva noted.

"I made her cry that first lesson; I didn't mean to, it made me feel awful seeing her tears. And at that moment, I decided I would do all I could to stay away and ignore her, and that's what I did for the next few years." He looked right at her, his expression was pleading, as though he was trying to show her how seriously he meant this. "It didn't stop the image from the mirror still haunting me, but in my head they were two entirely different people. There was the Penelope in my mind, older, mature and the Penelope who was a student, just a child."

Now he looked back to the floor, while he continued, to Minerva it looked like he was hanging his head in shame. His voice was no longer monotone, but strangled in places, like emotion was trying to break through. "But years later, when she came back for her sixth year, she'd grown up so much that summer, it was getting harder and harder to distinguish between the two Penelope's in my mind. She was 16 now, she was a young woman. I still wanted to do everything I could to ignore her. But it was the first lesson of term; and I couldn't ignore her personality any longer. Her intelligence, it was like no other student I've ever taught. I asked her questions that day that she shouldn't have been able to answer, and she did."

He paused for a long moment before he continued; he took his time, to Minerva it looked as though he was using this opportunity to get things clear in his mind as well. "But one thing did happen that that day, which changed everything. One of the potions I tested her on was Amortentia, and she could only smell the potions room. I should have realised then that something was going on. That there was a chance…that she might have feelings for me" He placed his head in his hands now, and stayed quietly for a while. She'd never seen him look so vulnerable. She knew that in situations like these, the best thing for him to do was to carry on, to let everything come out without interruption.

"Carry on Severus, its OK" she said calmly.

He waited a few more moments to compose himself, and then continued. "A few months later, it was Christmas; and I'd gone back to ignoring her as best I could in lessons. But one evening she came to my classroom and said she had a Christmas present for me. I'd never received a Christmas present from anyone before. I was shocked, surprised, my first instinct was to reject it, so I sent her away. She left the present on the table as she walked out the room. I didn't open it, I just hid it away. But I heard you and the other Professors talking about how she'd bought each of you a quill. I could tell the gift I'd received wasn't a quill, so that evening, curiosity got the better of me and I opened it."

Severus looked up…Minerva just stared at him. "Accio scarf" he murmured, as he touched his wand.

Within a few seconds, the scarf fluttered through an open window and landed gently on his lap, he touched it tenderly before passing it to Minerva.

She could tell as soon as she touched it that the scarf had been worn often, looking at Severus, she realised it had probably been worn every night since he'd received it. She passed it back to him.

"The note that came with the gift told me that she'd made it herself. I didn't believe that someone could go to that much trouble, just for me. I so desperately wanted to believe it was because she cared for me" as he said this, he held up his hand in front of him, in the direction of Minerva "and before you say anything, believe me; I know how wrong it is that I wanted that from a student. But it's true, I did. However, I told myself, that it was done with ulterior motives, she wanted a good grade, she wanted to try and butter me up or something."

"After that, I noticed her health start to deteriorate. You kept asking us if we knew what it might be, but I didn't want to say anything to you. Besides, I was in denial; I didn't ever think that I'd affect her so. She withdrew from me in class, we ignored each other, she got on with the tasks I set, performed them perfectly every time of course. Then, I was on patrol a few months ago; I headed up to the Astronomy Tower, I thought I was alone, and then I noticed her there. She looked at me and saw me wearing the scarf. Her face lit up, I'd never seen her so happy. I was confused; I didn't know what that meant. So I tried to forget all about it." He was starting to talk faster, as though it was too much for him to keep in any longer.

"Then last night, at the Ball, I was standing on the platform, at the front of the Great Hall. And I saw her…she looked…so beautiful. I couldn't stand it, I just had to leave. Eventually though, she found me in the grounds, in the rose garden. I was so deep in thought; I didn't even hear her coming. She…she asked me to dance. I looked…looked to see if there was any sign that she was lying, or playing a practical joke…but she wasn't. And I realised, that all this time, it had been real, she had feelings for me." At this point a sound came out of him that was like a sob, only more painful. As he carried on his voice started breaking, it was hard for Minerva to make out everything he said

"I knew that even though we both felt this way, nothing could ever happen between us, so I told her that, and she left…I imagine that's why she ended up on the Astronomy Tower…so there you have it…it's my fault…it's my fault that she's ill."

His head rested once again in his hands, his body shook as though he was crying, but she could hear nothing. She let the silence grow around them, and it lasted for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, Severus raised his head to look at Minerva.

* * *

She looked stunned, as though the story she'd just heard, was the last thing she'd ever expected to hear. And it probably was, Severus thought.

"Well" she said "I don't really know where to begin…I just can't believe it…you…and…Penelope?"

"Well Minerva, what you've just heard is my account of the story, I could of course be completely wrong about the whole thing" his voice sounded tired, as though he was replying on auto-pilot.

He heard a chuckling coming from behind Minerva's head, and looked up into the sparkling eyes of Albus Dumbledore's portrait. "Well, my boy, that's a first. Severus Snape…admitting he might be wrong"

At this, Minerva joined in and laughed lightly, before saying "Well, Penelope has told her Mother about you, well about a 'boy' she likes at school. You're a lot younger than me Severus, but I'd hardly call you a boy" Both Minerva and Albus laughed more at this.

Severus suddenly snapped. "I can't believe you're both making jokes about this. This is serious, I've made her ill…I care for her and I've made her ill…and she's a student."

Minerva stopped laughing immediately, the expression on her face changed instantly to be severe and serious "Believe me Severus, I do realise the seriousness of the situation, and as the Headmistress of this school, I will remind you that Penelope Jones is your student, legally an adult, but still your student, and under no circumstances can any relationship, other than teacher and student, be allowed between you. However…" her face then softened "…as your friend, I will also remind you that Penelope is only a student here for another 7 months, and after that, you are both free to do as you wish."

At this, Severus looked up. "You can't be serious? You cannot possibly be suggesting that I start a relationship with her once she's finished school? "

"Well, that's up to you and Miss Jones, Severus. She'll no longer be your student, what you decide between yourselves is none of my business then"

Severus glared at her "But I couldn't…it would be wrong, she's still too young."

"Severus" Albus Dumbledore's voice was quiet; almost like a whisper "you of all people should understand that things that are meant to be in life are worth waiting for. Patience is a virtue, Severus."

"Albus is right" Minerva said smiling "Nothing has to happen between you straight away. But tell me, do you still believe that after everything you've been through, that you don't deserve happiness?"

Severus sighed…he couldn't believe he was hearing this from them "I will not ruin her life so that I can experience happiness" he accentuated the last word to show his frustration at their response.

"And as for ruining her life, should it not be her decision as to whether or not you'll do that?" Minerva asked.

He looked at them both; searching for other meanings behind their eyes…he had a lot to think about. But the most important thing right now was making sure Penelope was OK.


	14. Part 4 Chapter 13

_**Authors Note: Before reading this chapter, you may want to go back to chapter 12, I have posted an updated version (version 2) and I'd rather you read that than the original version. If you've already read version 2, then please read on! I hope you enjoy it **_

_**I also keep forgetting to mention that, of course, any characters and places you recognise are JKR's wonderful creation; I'm just adding my own elements and playing with them. **_

PART 4

Chapter 13

She was starting to become aware of voices around her, they sounded fuzzy, as though her head was covered in cotton wool. The voice she heard most often sounded male, his voice was clearest; as though it was louder than the others, angry perhaps? If only she could hear what was being said. She tried to concentrate but it caused her head to hurt…Now more voices, coming from all directions; it was making her feel dizzy, like she was being spun around.

"Ivor…coming round…eyes…moving"

Ivor, that was her father, was it his voice she could hear before? Her mum would call him Ivor, maybe her mum was here too?

"Penelope? Penelope?"

It was definitely her fathers' voice, it was clearer, he must have come closer. She wanted to answer, but wasn't sure how, she tried to open her eyes. What had happened? Why was she at home? She couldn't remember getting there…or being on the train…she could remember getting ready for the ball…and then arriving…and talking to Professor Snape…

"What was that Penelope? What did you say?"

She hadn't said anything, had she? She could hear a bit more clearly now, like the cotton wool had been removed. Then she felt a strong hand rest on her shoulder, it felt comforting, until it gently started shaking her. It didn't feel good, waves of dizziness swept over…her head spun…the sensation was strange, like being spun round with your eyes closed.

"Mr Jones" a smooth, silky voice had interrupted "I don't think shaking her is a good idea"

…she definitely recognised that voice…but how could it be? ...Professor Snape was here…it was definitely his voice…but why was he here?

"Believe me, when I want your opinion I'll ask for it…I think I know what's best for my own daughter"

That explained the angry voice, it was her father, and he didn't sound pleased. Why were her father and Professor Snape talking? She needed to wake up…and soon…

"Will you both please stop bickering…what's important right now is Penelope…I think she can hear what you're saying"

That was her mother's voice again…had she…had she really just told Professor Snape and her father to stop bickering?...

It felt like the cotton wool was being placed over her head again, the voices started to fade…then quiet…

* * *

It felt different this time…no more cotton wool…her head wasn't so heavy…so groggy…she tried to open her eyes…it didn't hurt…then she realised it must be dark. She felt weak and her head fell to the right, and she opened her eyes fully…a large open area…she recognised the shape of the windows…the hospital wing at Hogwarts. So she hadn't been at home, she was still at Hogwarts. She slowly moved her head around, first facing up towards the ceiling, then looking to the left.

She let out a gasp…sitting in a chair next to the bed was Professor Snape, he was sat upright in the chair, his arms folded across his chest; it looked like he was shaking slightly, it must be cold. His face was like a mask, no emotion at all, it looked like he was holding his breath…waiting for her. How was he here? Was this a dream? She searched through her thoughts, trying to piece together the fragments of memories she had …

They had been at the ball; she had found him, sitting on a bench in the rose garden. He had looked so vulnerable, sitting there, she could picture him exactly…his shoulders hunched, his long hair falling around his face. He had looked lost…lonely. She had approached him, he had jumped, she'd startled him…she had…she had asked him to dance…and then…oh…

She could feel her eyes starting to brim with tears, and her lip trembled slightly. She jumped, as she saw him lean forward and then felt his hand cover hers. They felt quite rough, the hands of someone who used them for work. He didn't move his hand at all, just let it sit there, covering hers, the pressure felt nice, comforting.

But she could remember his words exactly - "Miss Jones, as a teacher I do not want to dance with a student, and as a man, I do not want to dance with you. I suggest you go back inside and find a seventh year boy to dance with"…he didn't want her. He wasn't interested at all. What could she say to him? Would he think her pathetic if she begged him to change his mind?

"You don't want me…" was the first thing that came out as she opened her mouth. He slowly leaned in closer, and she realised that her voice had come out as barely a whisper.

"Miss Jones, please don't speak, you need to rest" his voice was gentle, calming. His hand remained covering hers.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked, her voice sounded slightly stronger this time. "Why are you here?"

"I'll leave if you want, you just have to say" for a second his face showed hurt, but quickly went back to the mask.

"No!" she said quickly "Please stay with me" she asked. The thought of him leaving was too much. "I'm just confused…you don't like me"

She heard him let out a sigh "Miss Jones, I really want to wait until you're better before we discuss things. Please, can you try and go back to sleep, you need rest, you've been through a lot"

She tried to think about what he might be referring too…her last memory was when he had said he didn't want to dance with her and then she had turned and ran…but then what…slowly images started to appear…the Astronomy Tower…

"The Astronomy Tower…what happened?" she asked, searching his face for an answer.

"You don't remember at all?" she looked at him blankly in response, he sighed again.

He started to lift his hand from hers, but she quickly turned her hand over and held onto his. Gently he pulled it away, then took his wand from his robes and lit a fire in the fireplace next to the bed.

"Would you like anything to eat or drink?" he asked kindly

She was confused, and her face must have shown it because he then said "If we're going to talk, we may as well do it comfortably" his mouth moved slightly in the corners, it looked very close to a smile.

She let out a small giggle…"I suppose…a cup of tea would be nice"

After a few minutes, a plate of biscuits and a pot of tea set for two were sitting on the table next to the bed; she had managed to sit upright and was leaning back against the pillows. Once she was comfortable, he had handed her a mug of tea and sat quietly while she drank a bit.

"I don't really know where to start, this is, a most unusual situation" it was the first time she had ever heard uncertainty in his voice.

"Yes I suppose it is" she answered "but, I do have a few questions, would you mind, trying to answer them?" she looked at him nervously.

"Of course, I promise I'll be honest with you and answer them as best I can"

He sat quietly then, just watching her. She knew she had a million questions for him…and now she finally had the chance to ask them, but she didn't even know where to start.

She went with the first thing that came into her head "What were you and my father bickering about?"

Immediately, a sound escaped from his mouth that must have been a laugh, a single burst, followed by a smile, an actual smile. "So you could hear what was being said, I did wonder. I think that will become clearer once you've heard the rest of the story, for now I'll just say that we had a bit of a misunderstanding. A lot has happened over the last few days."

"Oh…OK." She let out a small laugh as well. "A few days…have I been here that long?"

"Well, it has taken you a while to recover. You had a very serious case of hypothermia…" his voice started to falter "you were…on the Astronomy Tower all night, and it had snowed…Madame Pomfrey has been looking after you here for the last few days." He tried to change the subject, and made his voice lighter "Your parents arrived a few hours after Headmistress McGonagall informed them. They're staying in The Three Broomsticks, but haven't left your side at all during the day. They'll be so happy to hear that you're awake and talking"

She looked down at her now empty mug, "I'm sorry about going up to the Astronomy Tower, I don't know what I was thinking." She sighed. "My parents…do they know about…well, about…what happened?" She didn't know how to describe the situation, what to say or how to say it.

Severus leaned closer to the bed; a look of seriousness had come across his face. "You don't have to apologise for anything, it is me that needs to apologise." He took a deep breath "I am very sorry for the way I have treated you the last few years. I am not proud of how I have acted, it was never my intention to hurt you. I've only ever had your best interests at heart." He was looking so deeply into her eyes, she could see he meant every word "I promise, that given the chance, I will make it up to you, I'm not sure how, but I will. And I'll start now, by telling you the truth. As for your parents, well, they know my version of events, but I know they're desperate to talk to you about things as well"

She just looked at him, this was so much to take in, then she asked "And what is your version of events?"

"Well, that is the truth that I'm referring to…"


End file.
